You know when you have those horrible realizations, like when you forgot to turn off the stove in your house and you just left for a three week vacation and no one's around to turn it off and you live in the center of a densely packed wood in a dry season?
Well, that's what realizing I have to leave Dartmouth is like.
I haven't written in a while because I've been extremely busy and have been really all over the place at Dartmouth. But today is June 8th, and I had my last final yesterday morning (Chemistry...don't ask). I refused to accept anything yesterday and am still a little bit in the dark, but this morning I woke up to a half-empty room as my roommate left on the 7am Dartmouth coach.
And then I realized: I....have....to leave Dartmouth soon.
I'm luckier than most in that I get to stay until this upcoming weekend (most people are kicked out - with love, of course- tomorrow) because of my a cappella group (The Dartmouth Dodecaphonics, I wrote about them a WHILE back). We have a cabin retreat tonight and we do this thing called Sing Out on friday where we stand on the porch of Collis commonground (basically the student center- 14s, you'll see soon enough) and sing for many hours. (Sounds super cool, right?) A bunch of alums come back and watch us and we just have a great time.
But that fact remains that I have basically reached the end of my freshmen year. The end of the beginning. A year ago I was dying to jump ahead three months, and now I'm dying to jump back. Every day I realize more and more how attached I am to this place and how a whole term (w/ breaks = 3 months) will affect me. No more CONSTANT blitzing!??!?! No more classes (which is nice, for a little)? No more fro yo from FOCO at whatever time of the night it is when I'm going insane on work?
But most of all, I won't be with my friends. I sometimes forget how luck I am to live with some of the closest people in my life to me who are actually my age.I was so excited for that as a senior and I seem to have forgotten it as I get through my busy days here. Now they're not so packed, but there's not as many people to here to help full up the time.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) I will be forced to leave my dorm and move to the river because my dorm is made into a little hotel for parents. All the rooms (seniors are allowed to stay) are cleaned and students are actually paid to make beds and prepare rooms for the parents (coming for graduation). It will be ridiculous, and crazy. I have not started packing. It is 3pm, I am leaving for a retreat tonight at 5 until 9am tomorrow, and then I have to be out of my room by 12pm to make sure I am not fined.
This will be tough. But at least I'm not leaving, yet.
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